Imagine that you have been offered a lucrative position in another city, or you have dreamed of moving to this place all your life, and now there is a real opportunity. You may no longer be able to withstand extreme weather conditions where you live. There may be many good reasons to move to another city in search of happiness.Before hiring the movers check moving company reviews and be prepared to save your money and download and print a moving checklist.
However, your spouse may be against such an important step in your life. Fear of the unknown, unwillingness to part with relatives and friends, as well as anxiety about change – all these are extremely powerful factors that effectively influence the idea of moving. However, such unwillingness to get out of the comfort zone and withstand risks can lead to many missed opportunities and bitter regrets. So, what to do if one of the spouses wants to move, and the other does not?
Weigh the pros and cons of a possible move
To convince your reluctant spouse of the benefits that a possible move will bring to your life, you must first make sure for yourself that it is really worth it. Consider the following important factors:
1. Financial advantages. Find out if your life will improve after moving:
Will you get a significant financial gain as a result of a higher income?
Will you have a chance to move up the career ladder and improve your skills and competence in your field of knowledge?
Is the cost of living in your new city affordable?
What are your options for living?
2. Available features. Find out what opportunities the new city offers:
If the new environment is useful for your children (if any) from the point of view of security, education, hobby and leisure, new friendships, etc.?
Is there anything in your new area loads of fun, sports and music events, cinemas, restaurants, green areas etc., which will allow you to relax and recharge with positive energy?
3. The difficulty of moving. Find out how difficult the process of your actual relocation will be:
Can you find an affordable apartment in a safe and prosperous area?
Will you be able to cover all the costs associated with the move without going broke?
Do you have the organizational skills and the necessary knowledge for a smooth and trouble-free move?
4. Sentimental factors – find out if you and your family will be able to accept the changes positively and enjoy your new life:
Do you like the weather in this area?
Is the lifestyle (prevailing viewpoints and established social norms) in your new environment compatible with yours?
Will you be able to easily adapt to the new environment and find new friends?
How much will you regret staying in the same city?
In general, if it seems to you that you will gain more than you will lose by moving, you can safely proceed with the implementation of your plans. However, you need to find a way to do this without compromising your marriage.
Discuss the problem in detail at the family council
Once you come to the conclusion that moving to a new home is your best option in the current circumstances, you need to talk to your spouse about your feelings, needs and expectations for change. When discussing the proposed relocation, you will get a clear idea of the problems and possible solutions.
- Explain the situation and ask your spouse’s opinion;
- Show compassion and let your spouse know that you understand what he/she will have to sacrifice. The formulation of shortcomings will be very useful for you, because it will not allow your partner to move to an extremely negative point of view, just to balance you;
- State all the benefits that a possible move will bring to both of you – use clear facts and figures to prove your point;
- Find something specific that your spouse is most likely to enjoy in a new place – a safer and friendlier community, better healthcare, excellent educational opportunities, good chances to pursue hobbies or other activities that he/she loves, etc.
Keep in mind that usually people hate not so much changes as inevitable losses. If you can figure out how to minimize potential risks, you will have a better chance of convincing your reluctant spouse to agree to the move.
Agree on a compromise
If your spouse does not want to move, despite the possible advantages, think about a compromise – offer a temporary move. Rent out your current housing and move to your chosen city for a certain period of time. For example, for a two-year period to test and reassess the situation. If your partner still doesn’t feel comfortable in the new environment, hates the area and regrets moving, consider coming back. Even if it is not financially justified, returning to your “old home” may still be the right decision.
Visit a new location before making a final decision
It is advisable to thoroughly study the city where you are going to move in advance – use the Internet to find out any relevant information, find out from friends and acquaintances who live in the area, or follow local blogs and forums. Visit the sites to get an accurate idea of the positive and negative aspects of this place.
However, the best thing you can do under the circumstances is to physically explore the city with your spouse – look at housing for sale, check out local schools, visit the market, have dinner at a good family restaurant, etc. This will help you make a better decision about your new life and calm your partner’s fears.
Arrange a hassle-free move
Without a doubt, the great anxiety associated with the immediate relocation process is one of the main reasons why your spouse does not want to move. If you plan each stage of the move well enough to ensure a smooth and carefree move, your friend will surely accept this change much more positively. So, start preparing for the move as early as possible and make sure that you:
- We planned a realistic budget for the move and found effective ways to reduce costs as much as possible;
- Have you found a reliable transport company that will help you move;
- We took care of all the relevant documents;
- Disassembled and packed their belongings in a safe and efficient way;
- We took precautions to avoid injuries and accidents on the day of moving;
- You have found the time and the way to say goodbye to all the people important to you and your favorite places that you are going to leave.
Moving is a life-changing event that inevitably entails great emotional upheaval in a relationship. Give yourself and your partner enough time to deal with the changes and challenges you will face. It is important to respect the opinions and feelings of another person, share your expectations and fears. Make all the important decisions together – so you can enjoy every moment of your life, wherever you are at this moment.